I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Randomize
