i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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