i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
