Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
