I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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