Where is the hickey?
accomplished twins. life is a go
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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