I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
PANTIES FOUND
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