he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
