any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
