Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
