Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Randomize
