Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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