He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
