the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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