the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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