Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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