I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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