Cold hands, warm shart.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
