Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Just high enough for therapy.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Everclear isn't food dammit
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
