come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
