Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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