ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you would pick up someone in the library
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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