i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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