Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I cockslap morals
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
