The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
