No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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