Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
