Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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