You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
