No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
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and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
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Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
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