Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
