it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
