I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
