I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
