thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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