i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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