im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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