i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
