i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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