i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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