they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
