The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
