i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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