I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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