Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
