he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
