I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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