Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
