new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
