theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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