are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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