if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
