It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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