You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I will die if light touches me.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
