i may or may not be watching the land before time
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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