why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
and she was petting her beer can
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
