You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
