6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
my being single is dangerous.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
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She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
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I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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