Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
being pregnant is like rehab
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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