you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
